have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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