Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
