we have officially lost it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
