I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
