oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
