Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
my shit smells like andre
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
