I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
