i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
