The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
