His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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