OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You have to summon your inner elephant
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
