So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
