so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I got inside last night via doggy door
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
