he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
