i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
How external is "for external use only"?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
