I cockslap morals
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
just found out that she named her cat after me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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