I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
