he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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