office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
