dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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