i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize
