Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And then my night got REAL pukey
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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