Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
