9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
