New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
