i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
