Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
