I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
high people should be assigned attendants
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
