Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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