Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I want to make a zoo with you.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I didn't notice because vodka
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
