I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
