i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
