I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
this is an emotional support booty call
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
