I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
