whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
