I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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