I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
