Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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