I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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