Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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