We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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