haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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