I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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