office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I woke up under a house in Key West
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