I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
