i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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