everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
