I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm getting married
To pizza
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Randomize
