So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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