It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
