Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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