I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
