In the future we'll all be gay
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
