So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
