Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
