well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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