he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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