is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
