No stitches, just platelets and will power
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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