Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
